Characters don’t just live in what they do or say—they live in what they think. Internal thoughts are where emotion, tension, and depth quietly unfold. When done right, they don’t just show us a character—they let us be them.
This guide will walk you through how to write internal monologue that feels natural, meaningful, and adds real weight to your story—without slowing it down.
The Five Modes of Fiction Writing
The five modes of fiction writing—description, action, dialogue, exposition, and thought—are the core techniques writers use to tell their stories. They shape how information is delivered and how readers experience the narrative.
Right now, we’re talking Thoughts. Want to learn about the rest? Check out our other posts:
Here you can find writing prompts based on the five modes of fiction writing.
Why Internal Thoughts Matter in Fiction
You know that little voice in your head that never shuts up? The one that overthinks everything, replays conversations, and occasionally delivers the perfect comeback… two hours too late? Yeah—that’s the stuff great stories are made of.
Internal thoughts (also called internal monologue) are how we get inside a character’s head. They let us feel what the character’s feeling, understand what’s really driving them, and see the world through their eyes. Without them, characters can come off flat or mysterious in the wrong way—like we’re watching them through a fogged-up window. But with them? The whole story opens up.
What Internal Thoughts Actually Do
Think about how much of your own life plays out internally—those quiet doubts, hopes you’re afraid to say out loud, daydreams, regrets, snap judgments. That internal world is where most of our real story lives. And that’s exactly what internal thoughts bring to fiction: emotional truth.
Here’s why they’re a big deal:
- They reveal character: What someone thinks but doesn’t say can be more telling than any dialogue. It shows us fears, flaws, desires—everything that makes them human.
- They add tension: Maybe a character is smiling and nodding, but inside they’re spiraling. That disconnect creates drama we wouldn’t get from actions alone.
- They shape pacing: Need to slow down a scene, build suspense, or let an emotional moment breathe? A quick dive into a character’s thoughts can do the trick.
Done right, internal thoughts don’t just add depth—they pull readers closer, turning a character from someone we watch into someone we feel with.
So, how do you actually bring those thoughts to life on the page? Let’s look at the different ways internal monologue can show up in your writing.
Direct vs. Indirect Thoughts: Two Ways to Get Inside a Character’s Head
Not all internal thoughts are created equal. Some are loud and raw, like the unfiltered voice in your brain when you’re stressed out. Others are quieter, slipping into the story like background music. Both are valid—and knowing when to use each can seriously level up your writing.
Let’s break down the two main types: direct thoughts and indirect thoughts.
Direct Thoughts: Up Close and Personal
Direct thoughts are the character’s inner voice in its purest form—exactly what they’re thinking, as they’re thinking it. It’s immediate, personal, and usually written in present tense, even if your story isn’t.
These thoughts often show up in italics when you’re writing in third person, but if you’re writing in first person, they can flow right into the narrative without any special formatting.
Example:
“She eyed the door. Should I just leave?”
That’s a direct thought. It drops us right into her mind—no filter, no delay. It feels like we’re hearing her real-time reaction.
When to Use Direct Thoughts:
- When things are tense or emotional and you want the reader right there in the moment
- To highlight a thought that contrasts with what the character says or does
- For punchy emphasis—especially in quick, reactive moments
Think of direct thoughts like stage whispers to the audience. They break through the surface and let us in on something raw.
Indirect Thoughts: Smooth and Subtle
Indirect thoughts are a little more chill. Instead of quoting the character’s mind word-for-word, you’re paraphrasing what they’re thinking through the lens of the narration. It’s less immediate, but often feels more polished and seamless.
Example:
“She eyed the door. Maybe she should just leave.”
We’re still inside her head, but it’s more of a soft echo than a direct feed. It blends naturally into the flow of the story, keeping the tone consistent and the pacing smooth.
When to Use Indirect Thoughts:
- When you want a little more narrative distance
- To keep the prose from getting too jumpy or fragmented
- For thoughtful moments that aren’t emotionally charged or in-the-moment
Indirect thoughts are great for keeping things subtle and steady—like letting a character’s mindset simmer under the surface.
So, Which Should You Use?
Honestly? Both. It’s not about picking a favorite—it’s about choosing the right tool for the moment. High-stakes scenes might call for raw, direct thoughts. Quieter, reflective beats might need the softer touch of indirect ones. The trick is to stay true to your character’s voice and emotional state.
Making Thoughts Feel Authentic to Your Character
Internal thoughts are a direct line into your character’s mind—which is exactly why they have to sound like your character. If their thoughts feel too polished, too generic, or just not them, it breaks the magic.
Think of internal monologue like internal dialogue. It should reflect the character’s voice, background, personality, and emotional state. The more true it feels, the more your reader will buy in. Let’s talk about how to make that happen.
1. Let Their Personality Shape the Voice
Not everyone thinks the same way—so your characters shouldn’t either. A sharp-witted teenager, a grumpy detective, a dreamy poet—they’re all going to have totally different thought styles. The way someone talks out loud should influence how they think internally, too.
Examples:
- Teenager: Ugh. This is taking forever. Do they even know how to count change?
- Professor: Curious. She hesitated before giving me the total—new to the job, perhaps?
Both are feeling impatient, but the tone and language reflect who they are. That’s the goal.
2. Mirror the Emotion of the Moment
People don’t think in tidy, well-structured sentences—especially when they’re scared, angry, or overwhelmed. Real thoughts can be messy, fragmented, or even totally irrational. And in fiction, that’s a good thing.
Examples:
- Too stiff: I am very worried about what will happen if they discover my secret.
- More real: Crap. If they find out—I’m screwed.
In high-stakes moments, keep thoughts short, raw, and true to the character’s emotional state. It adds urgency and pulls readers deeper into the moment.
3. Don’t Over-Explain
Yes, internal thoughts are about showing us what’s going on inside—but that doesn’t mean narrating every feeling or memory. Sometimes less is more. Trust your reader to connect the dots.
Examples:
- Over-explained: He looked at her and felt sad. He was remembering their summer together, before everything changed.
- Stronger, subtler: He looked at her. Summer felt like a different life.
The second version hits harder because it invites the reader to lean in and feel it without being told exactly what to feel.
Bottom Line: Let the thoughts be honest. Authentic internal monologue isn’t about clever writing—it’s about emotional truth. If it sounds like something your character would actually think in that moment, you’re on the right track.
Striking the Right Balance: When to Use Internal Thoughts
Internal thoughts can be magic. They give us emotion, context, and that deep character connection readers crave. But like any tool, too much of a good thing can start working against you.
If every scene is packed with constant introspection—every feeling unpacked, every moment analyzed—it slows the pace and drains the tension. Instead of pulling readers closer, it can push them away. The key is balance.
Here’s how to keep things balanced and effective:
- Don’t narrate every little thing: Readers don’t need a mental play-by-play of your character brushing their teeth or debating what socks to wear—unless it reveals something meaningful. Keep it focused on thoughts that actually add to the story.
- Use it where it counts: Big emotions? Tough decisions? Moments where a character is torn or spiraling or realizing something huge? That’s where internal thought shines. Lean in there.
- Mix it up: Not every thought needs to be a full paragraph. Sometimes a single line—raw and punchy—can say more than a deep dive ever could. Use a mix of short bursts and longer reflections to keep the rhythm interesting.
- Let actions do some heavy lifting: You don’t always have to tell us your character is nervous. Show us the clenched jaw, the fidgeting hands, the forced smile. Internal thoughts should complement what’s happening—not compete with it.
The Takeaway? Be Intentional. Internal monologue isn’t about filling space—it’s about revealing what matters. Use it to add depth, not drag. The most powerful inner thoughts are the ones that show us something we wouldn’t get from actions or dialogue alone.
So trust your reader. Let them pick up on the subtext. And when you do dip into a character’s mind, make it count.
How to Format Thoughts Without Confusing Your Reader
There’s no one-size-fits-all rule for formatting internal thoughts—but there is one golden rule: be consistent. However you decide to show what’s going on in your character’s head, just stick with it so your reader isn’t constantly guessing what’s narration and what’s inner dialogue.
Let’s break down the most common approaches—and when each one works best.
1. Italics for Direct Thoughts
This is the classic go-to: if you’re writing a character’s exact, unfiltered thoughts (especially in present tense), italics help them stand out.
Example:
“She stared at the empty seat across from her. I can’t believe he didn’t show up.”
- Great for in-the-moment, emotional reactions
- Helps separate thoughts from regular narration
- Works especially well in third-person, past-tense stories
It’s like silent dialogue. Just remember: don’t overuse italics or it can get distracting fast.
2. No Italics, Just Present Tense
Some writers skip the italics and just use present tense for thoughts, even in a past-tense story. It keeps things subtle and clean.
Example:
“She stared at the empty seat across from her. I can’t believe he didn’t show up.”
- Ideal for deep third-person or first-person POV
- Keeps formatting minimal and natural
- Still feels immediate, without breaking the flow
This style can blend really nicely into the prose if your voice is tight and character-driven.
3. Indirect Thoughts (Blended into the Narrative)
This is a more low-key option. You’re still showing what the character’s thinking—but you rephrase it slightly so it feels like part of the narration.
Example:
“She stared at the empty seat across from her. She couldn’t believe he hadn’t shown up.”
- Smooth and seamless—great for past-tense stories
- Keeps the narrative tone consistent
- Offers a bit of emotional distance, which can be useful depending on the scene
This style is especially handy if you want to avoid italic overload.
4. Please Don’t Use Quotation Marks
It’s a common mistake: putting thoughts in quotes, like dialogue. But unless your character is literally talking to themselves, this just confuses readers.
Incorrect:
“She stared at the empty seat across from her. “I can’t believe he didn’t show up,” she thought.”
Stick to italics or narrative blending—quotation marks are for spoken words only.
5. Skip the “She Thought” Tags (Most of the Time)
You don’t need to write she thought or he wondered every time a character has a thought. If it’s clear from context, let the thought stand on its own.
Okay:
She stared at the seat. I can’t believe he didn’t show up, she thought.
Better:
She stared at the seat. I can’t believe he didn’t show up.
Less clutter = cleaner writing. Save the “she thought” tags for moments when clarity really demands it.
Bottom Line: Pick a style and stick with it. Whether you go with italics, deep POV, or subtle narration, the most important thing is consistency. If your formatting keeps shifting, it can pull readers out of the story. Set the tone early, and your audience will follow.
Key Takeaways
- Internal thoughts reveal what actions can’t. They show us the why behind the behavior—emotions, doubts, and desires that shape your characters from the inside out.
- Use direct and indirect thoughts intentionally. Direct thoughts are raw and immediate. Indirect ones blend smoothly into narration. Both are useful—just pick what fits the moment.
- Make thoughts sound like your character. Thought style should reflect personality, voice, and emotion. A sarcastic teen and a stoic war vet won’t think the same way—and that’s the point.
- Don’t overdo it. Too much introspection slows things down. Balance inner monologue with action, dialogue, and subtext.
- Let formatting support the story—not distract. Italics, present tense, indirect narration—whatever you choose, keep it clear and consistent. And please, no quotation marks for thoughts.
